Summer, Summer, Summer, Summertime

June already. This summer has been unusually cool, but that's not really something to complain about I guess. It's just not something that you think of when the rays of sunshine beat on you in the dead oppression that is mid-year humidity. Or, at least that's how it's supposed to be.

I'm feeling pretty lost at the moment.

I don't have a job (all of the opportunities I had fell through) and it's beginning to wear on me pretty hard. I know it's difficult to find work with the stuttering economy, but that doesn't mean I'm not freaking out about it. Luckily, I have an information session with Mutual of Omaha coming, but who knows what that will amount to. If it's a full-time job I can carry to part-time when school starts I'll be very glad for the opportunity. I won't get my hopes up though. My guess is that it's an entry-level position that is supposed to lead to a life-long career and that's the farthest from what I'm looking for. I feel bad thinking of it like that, especially since I need the money really bad, but it's just a waste of my time and the company's time to hire someone for two months. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how it feels to me.

In other news, there is no other news.

School is over for the summer (obviously) and I still need to get registered for more than two classes. I thought I had a jump on it too, but the classes I needed/wanted to take filled right away. I'll probably have to e-mail my adviser later if I still can't get into any of them, but I'll keep trying.

This fall is going to be really important. I have to get my ass in gear so I can apply formally for the Teacher's College and hopefully I will be accepted. I'm a little worried, but we'll see how it goes. The thing that worries me is that I barely don't have the GPA for it and I doubt I can raise it enough in one semester to make up the difference.

It honestly feels like I'm driving 100mph into a wall blindfolded in a soundless vacuum. It's like I was saying the other day to my Grandma, all throughout my life I had always had structure, structure, structure and now that's all gone and I'm wandering aimlessly. It's extremely difficult for me to feel any sort of comfort in anything at the moment also. That's a weird notion too because I have so many good friends and family all around me, but it still feels like I'm alone. Why is that? What is that stupid trigger in our brains that make us feel helpless and isolated even when we know there's nothing but good around us?

This is going nowhere. I'll just link a YouTube video or something; gotta find something worth it first...

Here we go...something that at least makes me feel better watching it: